Mythical Old Fat Man Thology

Have you heard of the man who never ages?  He gives gifts to all the people that are good, but he gives coal to those who are bad. He also has the ability to fly around the whole world in one night. He knows when you’re sleeping and he knows when you’re awake. Who is this man? If your answer was Santa Claus, you’re right! This mythical old fat man has been a part of our cultural celebrations for years. However, a problem arises when we began to take the characteristics of this mythical old fat man and attribute them to the creator of the universe. Does God give us material things when we are good? Christians are by no means guaranteed material possessions as a result of being “good”. However, the Bible states that God will bless those who keep his commandments (Luke 11:28), but this does not mean those blessings are going to be given in the form of material possessions. Furthermore, the only thing that Christians are promised is persecution (2 Timothy 3:12). The problems with this theology don’t stop there. It is also misdiagnosis of the human condition; the Bible states that humans are not even capable of being good (Psalm 14:3). If this is indeed true and we apply our mythical old fat man theology, all of us would be given coal. Does God punish Christians because they do wrong? No, because Jesus already took that ultimate punishment upon himself on the cross. Refer back to one of my previous blog posts called “No Longer Guilty” for more on that. If you think I’m incorrect in calling Santa a mythical old fat man because he was a real person, calm down. I realize that Santa was, in fact, based on a saint that punched heretics (no really, look it up!). I am merely speaking to our modern understanding of Santa. Ok, enough with the Santa talk already! Don’t get your theology from a mythical old fat man and no matter what atheists or unbelievers say, Jesus wasn’t one!  Except for the fat part, we can’t be sure, but it’s safe to assume…. Never mind.

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