To Be Loved and Known: Our Quest for Wholeness

Do you ever just stop and think, does anyone actually know the REAL me?

Maybe the better question is, do I want them to know the REAL me?

Ok, maybe we need to go even deeper, who is the REAL me—in Christ?

We know who we were without Christ, we can use many different adjectives to describe our old selves, such as selfish, boastful, deceitful,  covetous, and the list can go on. But the question must be asked—who are we NOW that we are in Christ?

In my last blog post, Stop Believing Lies: Breaking Free from Self-Condemnation, I talked about the many different ways that God describes the believer, things like being a new creation, is no longer condemned, etc.

Although these are good general descriptors of who you are in Christ, they do not specifically answer the question of who you really are. Thus, you have a great deal of room to discover who you really are — your dreams, your habits, your personality, all the things that make you, you.

So to the next question, do I want others to know the REAL me?

You may without hesitation say, YES, of course! This is completely understandable and expected as one of the main cravings of our soul that God has instilled in us,  that is, our desire to be known by others. We crave the feeling that we have when someone truly knows us. It is an essential aspect of our quest for a sense of wholeness.

Back to the question that I started with.

Does anyone really know the REAL me?

I hope you can be honest with yourself—whether your answer is yes or no, we all still have a follow-up question that floods our thoughts as we think about this topic. Why aren’t there more people in my life who truly know me?

For many of us, the answer to this is that we allow the stronger craving that we have to be loved and accepted, to water down any hint of transparency.

But wait—could this be true? Do we actually hide behind a facade of our authentic self because we believe we won’t be granted the love that we so desire if we become transparent? You need to answer this question for yourself, but for me, I find this often to be true.

Few would like to admit it, but most people attempt to present a more “lovable” version of themselves to others. More accurately, people attempt to present a version of themselves that they think is more lovable to other people, which often comes at the expense of transparent authenticity.

Believe me, I’m not telling you to be a jerk because that somehow encompasses your authentic self.  Remember, I’m talking about who you are in Christ, imaging His character to the world, not living according to your sinful flesh.

What I am talking about is our propensity to formulate a fake version of ourselves, because we believe this is the way to be accepted and loved. This comes at the expense of you being truly known, by even those people that are closest to you.

Your craving for love and acceptance has overpowered your distinct desire to be known, thus your sense of wholeness has been replaced by a profound inner loneliness.

Many people, Christians included, live with this loneliness because they fear rejection from others when they are their true self—in Christ. This fear is not one without justification, our world is full of rejection.

However, God has called you to something much greater. He has called you to receive His love while knowing every inch of your being. He knows you better then you know yourself. This is our only hope of satisfying your soul’s craving to be known and loved—He grants us a sense of wholeness, in Him. He designed us this way; that we may be lead to Him in our quest for wholeness.

In light of this truth, we can step out of the facade we create for ourselves and step toward authenticity, allowing people to know us even though we know that rejection will come from time to time. Yet, we can press on in light of God’s transcendent love for us.

Our desire to be known and loved can only truly be quenched with the perfect knowledge and love that God has for us. In that, we can find a true sense of wholeness and live as our authentic selves—in Christ!

Book of the Week – Soul Talk: The Language God Longs for Us to Speak – Larry Crabb

Song of the Week – Rivers & Robots – Shepherd Of My Soul

Read my last blog post here –Stop Believing Lies: Breaking Free from Self-Condemnation

Excerpt: When you live in self-condemnation, you are saying that Jesus’ act of taking your condemnation on himself was not sufficient and that you are the true judge of what should be condemned—you are NOT.

Thanks for Reading!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Let me know what you think in the comments below & what I should write about next!

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